December 2011
1 post
A revival.
Sometimes I get an itch to update this thing. Just letting my 7 followers that I am still very much alive. Happy New Year!
November 2010
1 post
“We both go to Brandeis, but originally met at summer seminary three years ago. Yeah, we vowed to speak only Hebrew to each other for six weeks.”
May 2010
1 post
Harry, a lover of chocolate and parlor games, usually had an unmatched air of timidity to him. But on Wednesday, he discovered a pencil eraser in his pudding cup, which contributed to his mild cardiac arrest.
April 2010
3 posts
March 2009
5 posts
Annals of Public Policy →
An interesting piece in The New Yorker by Atul Gawande on the public health care system.
Things to do if you're a young chap living in the...
-Meddle with peddlars
-Quietly nurse a myriad of beers while playing cards
-Sing disorderly songs in German
-Join a trade union and/or death benefit society
-Squirt slumberous drunks with bottles of seltzer
-Marry an Italian girl
February 2009
5 posts
A haiku:
Have you seen my gills
I hope you did not eat them
Lets ask the gypsy
h2so4
Walking into the Chemistry building at school is a whimsical experience. Floors squeak hello to you and each room smells of acetone. Walk a little further and the pale faces of students against white walls start to look like curdled lumps in expired yogurt. These lumps bop around nicely, but all have equally worried expressions.
While unpleasant to the individual senses, these things are...
How to make our people well-read:
Introduce literature into their processed foods.
i.e.: Cheever’s Cheetos
Camus Crunch
Wharton’s Wafers
Hemingway Ham (well-crafted sentences carved into meat products)
POETRY PROTEIN!
mite motte moth
Need a fun thing to do? Try quantifying compulsiveness. I try to come up with numbers that turn normalcy into categories of freak. A girl flutters her eyelashes twice-this marks flirtatiousness. Six times signifies awkwardness. And what if eyelashes fluttered as quick as a moth’s wing flapping? The gesture instantly becomes a medical condition.
January 2009
3 posts
Economical piñata:
1. Peel the skin off a bushel of grapes.
2. Sew skins together into a massive, tumor-like structure. Leave a flap open for the goodies.
3. Insert a few pieces of grape pulp and close flap.
LET DA KIDZ BE SUPRIZED!
December 2008
3 posts
November 2008
7 posts
An attempt in quantifying peace:
A nice figure for the lil’ ones. Close your eyes and picture children hovered around peace strategy BINGO boards. Sticky hands, friendly competition.
August 2008
2 posts
person 1: Do you smell that? This room smells like altoids.
person 2: Yeah. It lingers like a menthol magnet. I’m pretty sure it’s your perfume though.
