Walking into the Chemistry building at school is a whimsical experience. Floors squeak hello to you and each room smells of acetone. Walk a little further and the pale faces of students against white walls start to look like curdled lumps in expired yogurt. These lumps bop around nicely, but all have equally worried expressions.
While unpleasant to the individual senses, these things are collectively enjoyable. Why is this? Because it is a PSR. Perfect semantic relationship.
A lab does not have agreeable lighting, nor does it house camel-colored kids. No, no, these things would be paradoxical. Uncertainty, back away, for you are not welcome here.
looking forward to seeing them this weekend!
Introduce literature into their processed foods.
i.e.: Cheever’s Cheetos
Camus Crunch
Wharton’s Wafers
Hemingway Ham (well-crafted sentences carved into meat)
POETRY PROTEIN!
Need a fun thing to do? Try quantifying compulsiveness. I try to come up with numbers that turn normalcy into categories of freak. A girl flutters her eyelashes twice-this marks flirtatiousness. Six times signifies awkwardness. And what if eyelashes fluttered as quick as a moth’s wing flapping? The gesture instantly becomes a medical condition. 
Disguises
1. Peel the skin off a bushel of grapes.
2. Sew skins together into a massive, tumor-like structure. Leave a flap open for the goodies.
3. Insert a few pieces of grape pulp and close flap.
LET DA KIDZ BE SUPRIZED!
12.13.08
